You never can tell

By Michael Pemberton

“No man knoweth either love or hatred by all that is before them”  -Ecclesiastes 9:1

 I put my arm around my wife as we stood in the doorway of the hospital room, looking through the dark at our six-month-old daughter.  There she was, finally asleep among all the monitors and equipment.  These peaceful moments had been rare for her.  The hernia she was born with caused frequent pain, especially after eating.  She’d cried herself to sleep.

 As we stood there, I felt like I was somehow betraying her.  She would wake up in the night and mom and dad wouldn’t be there, only strange people.  People who poked her with needles.  We wanted to be there more than anything, but there was no place for us to sleep in the hospital.  Not that we were going to sleep that night.  In the morning we would hand her over to nurses who would wheel her out of sight crying and reaching out for us.  There was no way she could understand that it was all for her good, done in love.

 I have often thought of that when I question why God is allowing certain things to happen in my life.  But behind the question of why is an assumption about how God should deal with us.  That assumption is that we should be able to look at the things we can see in our lives: situations, jobs, relationships, etc, and use them as a ruler to measure God’s love for us.  Most people believe that.

 In his instruction manual for life, our heavenly father has given us plain instruction about how NOT to judge His love.  In Ecclesiastes 9:1, He says plainly, “Do not judge my love for you by the quality of your life.”  Now that’s hard.  In fact, we’re to use only one measure for His love for us: His son.  There is no other measure.  And He poured that measure out to the fullest on the cross. 

 So what about my “whys”?  Like, “Why am I going through this trial?”  And, “Why is God letting this happen to me?”  There are four cases for you to consider in this matter: 

 In the first case, I can understand “why”, and God is pleased to explain it to me.  Isn’t it good to know why?  I think so.  These times can be a great encouragement because they remind me of just how interested He is in me.

 In the second case, I should be able to understand “why” and God is pleased to explain it to me, but for some reason I just don’t get it.  Sometimes I am stubborn, sometimes dull.  But when I look back, hindsight’s crystal clarity reveals His attempts to answer my question.  These are comforting times too because they give me confidence to bear whatever I have to face the next time. I am encouraged to try harder to understand.

 In the third case, I am not able to understand “why”, but somebody else is.  These are times when friends and counselors can be such a comfort.  If you find yourself seeing clearly why someone else is passing through trial, don’t be surprised if they can’t see what is so clear to you.  You have a unique vantage point.  You are on the outside.  Your explanations may not make any sense to them, but your caring support is invaluable.

 In the fourth case, I am not able to understand “why” I am facing some difficult or painful situation, and God is not pleased to tell me.  In this case I am pleased to rely on faith.  But consider what the basis is for your faith in these times.  Hasn’t God made his love for you an absolute certainty before?  Shouldn’t the sacrifice of his only begotten son settle the issue?  And what about his many mercies, especially when you didn’t care about him at all?  “The goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance” (Romans 2:4).  When you were his enemy, he was good to you so that you might come to Him.   If he had shown his hatred for your sin before you had repented, he would have destroyed you.  So, no matter how bad today is, you can rest assured that it’s not bad because of some lack of love on his part, or because of some hatred for you.  You may not ever know why, but you can know why not.